White + African Interracial Relationships
Please don’t refer to African ethnic groups as tribes. See here.
To be honest it’s difficult not to make this problematic.
I feel some kinda way (maybe being Black, maybe being Nigerian) about the set-up here. For him to want the White woman over the Nigerian women i’m assuming he’s surrounded by definitely feels like a slight towards Black women that’s a real pervasive issue in the Black community and society in general.
Obviously this won’t speak on every Black man, and this is from my Western perspective, but way too many f**kboys go out their way to praise any woman but Black women and are proud of letting us know we’re undesirable to them and that White, non-black woc, and/or light-skinned Black women are preferred.
Go on twitter and search “dark skinned” or “Black girls” (well maybe don’t. it’s bad. Really bad) or hear some of these Black male celebs speak, and you’ll see what I mean.
In general, there isn’t a problem with him dating or loving her, just be mindful of the implications and that you nip those out as well as possible.
Typically the issue is when there’s a qualification to the interracial relationship. “I’m dating this x person because Black women are so-” No. Date whomever you like because you like them. Not because Black women are a b & c. See what I mean?
Also; ask yourself these questions:
- What is the connection between Z and B’s mother? Is it on equal grounds, as in she wasn’t on this trip to “Serve” him, perhaps he was on the organizing side of the mission trip activities, or is it a chance encounter?
- What about her is so special that he has interest in this woman over all the other women in his region so much that he leaves behind his home and people for her? Does she feel the same way about him?
- I also hope he wouldn’t show complete disregard for his family and loved ones in Nigeria. Does he still keep in touch? Does he visit them? Additionally, did he have any past lovers in Nigeria?
Key thing here is if you’re going to avoid White Savior and misogynoir aspects: their relationship should be based on mutual attraction and respect. He shouldn’t hold her up high for being an American White woman.
Not that she has to be golden perfection, but there needs to be something (or several somethings) about her that particularly draws him in that for some reason hasn’t occurred with him and the women he’s been around before her arrival.
So emphasize their love and connection, make us believe it, accept it.